


Oppressive Silence

by DayLightDove



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fai has PTSD, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Not with that past, Silent World, Team as Family, There's no way he can't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 16:11:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DayLightDove/pseuds/DayLightDove
Summary: When sent to a new world were all sound is non-existent, Syaoran can't help but notice that a certain mage in their company is not handling the silence well. Concerned, he, Kurogane, and Mokona hope to get an answer from Fai so they understand what has him so uneasy and acting as he had when they all first started their journey.





	Oppressive Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is a new story.
> 
> So if any of you know me, I like torturing my favorite characters. In this case, Fai has that place for Tsubasa! Plus, I relate a lot to him soooo...probably expect vent fics. Either way. mostly expect lots of Fai hurt/comfort but I'll try to hurt the others to get some kind of balance! (not really a balance. like 20% others 80% Fai...so...)
> 
> Anywho, this is a new fic and also my first attempt at writing Syaoran who I have discovered to be very difficult to write (At the moment at least. I should get a hang of him eventually. I mean, he'll show up quite a bit so I'll need to.) Mokona's first show too, but they were a lot easier to write than Syaoran. I hope he's ok!
> 
> Anywho, I don't own Tsubasa.
> 
> Onto the story!

This, they had to admit, was one of the weirder worlds they have traveled to. Obviously, they had to be prepared for anything when it came to traveling to places with different rules than their own homes, but they never expected to come to a place were a thing such a sound was nonexistent. This never crossed their mind because, as far as they knew, things pertaining to the basic five senses were never affected by the world outside of spells or similar things.

Yet, here they were, in a world where sound was out of their reach.

The minute the group fell into the world, they were quick to discover that their voices were gone. The four had all shared a look before they picked up on the fact that no sound would leave their lips no matter how loud they shouted or what they said. Beyond that, no other sounds reached their ears from the field they found themselves within. As their legs shifted through the long grass, no sifting or rustling reached their ears. Even the colors of the world seemed to be forbidden from being loud, the colors muted and dull.

Fai looked around the area with suspicious eyes before looking back at his companions, motioning for them to come close to him. Syaoran and Kurogane quickly moved to stand beside the mage, Mokona sitting within Kurogane's arms.

Fai frowned in concentration for a moment, his mouth opening and his lips moving in mock of speaking before he stopped and shook his head. A soft light glowed from the tip of his fingers before he began writing quickly in the air, magic symbols and words flowing from the digits. The other three watched as the writing began to flow around them, forming a bubble before there was a flash and they were all standing within a dome of magic similar to when Fai used his magic in Lecourt Country.

"Ah," They jumped and turned to Fai who just sighed, their ears actually hearing the sound. "I'm a little surprised this actually worked."

"We can hear?" Syaoran gasped. "Fai-san?"

Fai waved his hand. "Don't worry, it's just a small area manipulation spell I know that's allowing us to go against this world's principles. I just sort of make our own space, similar to the space you fought Seishirou-san within. This allows us to talk even when this world strangely won't."

"Mokona doesn't sense anything off." Mokona fretted, worry in their voice.

"That's because there isn't anything off." Fai replied with a gentle smile. "That's just how this world is, no magic involved."

"And I take it we'll be here until the pork bun can transport us, huh?" Kurogane sighed, one of his hands coming up to comb its way through his hair.

"Is Kuro-chin worried?" Fai cooed, making the other glare at him.

"Kurogane." He huffed. "And no, I'm not. I just hope we move on before it gets too boring around here."

"But this will be great bonding time!" Fai cried with a bright smile on his face. "Of course, if Kuro-tan is really worried I could always help Mokona-"

"No." Kurogane cut the other off with a glare. "I just said I'm not worried. Besides, idiot, there's no reason for you to use up your magic for no reason."

"Kuro-pu is so mean to me." Fai huffed.

"Speaking of magic," Syaoran spoke up, making the adults look to him. "Is this a lot of strain for you, Fai-san?"

"Huh?" Fai took a second to understand the question before waving his hand in dismissal once more. "Not at all. This is not even a fraction of what I've done before. I could keep this going for as long as it's needed."

"But-"

"Really, don't worry about me, Syaoran-kun." Fai laughed. "I'm touched, but really, it will be fine. My magic won't run out so easily, not with how much it has increased during our travels. Remember, it increases with each use?"

"I know, but won't you get tired at some point?" Syaoran asked, refusing to back down especially when it came to the health of one of his friends. He knew what Fai could be like and Syaoron learned along the way refuse the mage when it came to certain situations.

Fai shook his head. "Really, you don't need to worry about me."

"Don't be stupid." Kurogane grunted. "We don't know what's in this land and it would be stupid of you to wear yourself down when it's not needed. Take this thing down when we aren't using it and put it up when we are. There doesn't need to be anything overly complicated about that."

"It's really not a problem-"

"Please Fai?" Mokona spoke up, their big eyes watering with worry over the blonde.

Something flashed in those blue eyes and there was a twitch in his fingertips before a smile formed on Fai's lips. But this smile was one they all knew too well, one that had been on his face from the moment they met the mage and had finally begun to fall off after the ordeal in Celes. They were missing something here, something that is playing a part in the smile and look in Fai's eyes, but none of the other three could come up with a reason for it before Fai was speaking. "Ok than, you win. So, what's the plan?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Kurogane caught Syaoran looking at him but he gave a subtle shake of his head, signalling that they would deal with this later. After getting a subtle nod from Syaoran, Kurogane answered. "Well, obviously, we need to see what's going on around here, find some shelter in case the weather gets really bad. While we're looking around, we'll need to keep an eye out for food sources and water sources, as well as making sure their safe to eat."

"Well, we should get going with that, shouldn't we?" Fai hummed, but there was still a vale to his eyes.

"We should stick in groups." Syaoran spoke up. "Just to keep anything from happening."

"I think that's a good idea." Fai spoke up.

"Alright then, I'll take the pork bun and we'll see if we can find food sources." Kurogane grumbled out. "You two can go together, try to find some shelter."

"I'll send up a signal when we do so you know where we are." Fai replied. "But do try to stay close, Kuro-pon. It would be horrible if our son lost his father to the wilderness."

Kurogane only sends Fai a glare at the words before turning around and stalking off with Mokona within his arms. Syaoran watched the other walk away and out of the dome Fai had created before turning back to the mage who was staring off at Kurogane with an odd look in his eyes.

"Fai-san-?"

"Whelp!" Fai exclaimed, cutting Syaoran off with a clap of his hands. "We should go try to find shelter. After all, we don't know what type of weather there is here and when it could hit." Fai raised his hands to cancel the spell around them when he paused. Looking towards the younger male, he asked. "Are you sure you don't want me to keep the spell up? It would help us call to each other."

Syaoran watched the blonde carefully, but he could tell the other was once again putting up a strong facade and between he and Kurogane, Kurogane was better at figuring out the mage's actions. Right now, Syaoran would try to pick up what he could, wanting to help the older male when he had already helped him so much throughout the journey, but he needed to know where to start first. If he learned anything about Fai through their journey, it was that you needed some ground if you wanted to get through to the mage. (Unless you were Kurogane because sometimes the older male could stop the blonde's lies before they even passed his lips.)

Opening his mouth after a few seconds of silence, Syaoran spoke. "No, its ok. We'll just have to stay close to each other, that's all."

Once again, something flashed in Fai's eyes but before Syaoran could even ask Fai what was wrong or even if the mage wanted to keep the spell going, Fai spoke once more with an odd smile. "That fine, I was just checking. Stay close by then, ok? I don't want to risk losing you." And with quick gestures of his hands, the dome vanished and it seemed like the area within seemed to dim as well. Looking back at Fai, he watched as the blonde motioned for the other to follow him before turning and walking off.

The two made their way to a more forest-like area of the place, leaving the field behind them. Syaoran was put off by how silent it was in the forest, it was almost creepy. He would see things move and feel the earth and plants beneath his feet and with his hands, but none of these things ever made a noise. He watched as something similar to a bird took flight from a tree branch, but there was no flutter of wings, no bird call or ruffling of the leaves.

Nothing reached his ears and it was so off putting.

Syaoran let his eyes scan the area around him, yet at the same time making sure that Fai was always within his sight. When ever he would look at the older male, Syaoran couldn't help but notice the edge of tenseness that surrounded the mage. Sure, Fai had a smile on his face, but Syaoran knew the familiar look of it, how similar it was to the ones he gave at the beginning of their travels, and he wasn't falling for it. Not when he had seen Fai smile for real.

But, he couldn't yet figure out what it was for, couldn't figure out why Fai felt it was needed to put on this facade. So he would continue to observe the other, hoping to find something that would allow him to help the mage that had done so much to help him with his quest and continues to do so. But he also knew not to let Fai catch onto his suspicion (but he wouldn't be surprised if the mage already knew they had been put off by something), so whenever their eyes would meet and Fai gave him an even brighter-yet falser-smile, Syaoran made sure to give his own grin back, even if it wasn't that big.

At one point in their search, Syaoran felt Fai tap him on the shoulder and he turned to look at the blonde who motioned for Syaoran to follow him. Nodding his head, the brunette followed Fai to what appeared to be a small cave. It wasn't very deep, but it was just deep enough to provide adequate cover if they needed it. Giving a thumbs up, Fai smiled back before creating a bright light in his hands and sent it up into the air. Syaoran watched as it flew into the sky before letting of brighter flashes of light, no doubt to catch Kurogane's and Mokona's attention from wherever they were in the forest. Syaoran also felt that the light would've made noise, but it seemed that even Fai's spells were no match for the natural order of this country, at least without additional spells.

Looking away from the spell, Fai motioned for Syaoran to join him from where he had taken a seat in the cave. Sitting down within the rocky place, Syaoran watched Fai write within the air once more before his soft sigh filled the air, and it didn't escape his notice that the breath was a bit shaky.

"That's better, don't you think?" Fai asked, sending another smile Syaoran's way. The kid didn't know what it was, but this time it seemed there was something revealed very briefly in Fai's expression and words as he said this. "Nothing like being able to hear things."

"Yeah." Syaoran hesitantly replied. He'll admit, it was a relief to hear things again, never realizing how different to would be without this sense of his, but he couldn't help but feel there was something different to the silence between himself and Fai, something deeper than just losing a sense.

Fai stretched his arms out with a groan. "Now we just need to wait for Mokona and Kuro-pu to make it back and we can see where we're going from there. I hope we aren't here long though, since it doesn't seem like there's much for us to do. What do you think, Syaoran-kun?"

"Uh...yeah, I agree. It would be nice to move on to the next world soon. This place is...off-putting to say the least." Syaoran couldn't help but notice the way Fai immediately agree with his words, yet at the same time it seemed as if he wanted to say more about it.

"I can agree, so just tell me if you ever need me to cast this spell, ok? I really don't mind doing it." Syaoran didn't know if he imagined it, but there seemed to be something pleading in Fai's eyes at this.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to overdue it?" Kurogane's gruff voice pierced the space, causing them to look to the entrance of the cave. The man was walking in with a scowl on his face as he stared down at Fai. Mokona squirmed out of his grasp and jumped down to stand before Syaoran and Fai.

"Hi Fai! Hi Syaoran!" Mokona cried.

"Hello again, Mokona." Fai replied. "You got here quickly."

"We weren't that far off." Kurogane replied as he sat down on the other side of the cave so he could face the other two males after placing down a few twigs and leaves in the center of the cave. "And you didn't answer me."

"Calm down, Kuro-puppy, you don't need to worry so much. My magic won't get depleted so easily, you should know that. A simple spell like this isn't anything."

"No, but you can get tired."

"Sure, sure, but even that would take a bit to happen from just this spell. Really, it's not anything to worry about." Fai's smile than turned a bit sad as he put down the hand he had been waving dismissively at Kurogane. "Besides, it's not a bad thing to want the silence to end for a while, right?"

It was said quietly, almost as if they hadn't been meant to hear it, and it only served to worry them more.

Mokona looked sadly up at Fai, their voice coming out as a soft, worried squeak. "Fai…"

Shaking his head as if that would dismiss what had just happened, Fai changed the conversation. "So? Will we be able to live here for a while if we need to?"

Kurogane didn't reply for a second, his eyes looking over Fai as if he was deciding whether or not to drop the previous conversation like the mage wanted or to continue with it. Finally, he spoke. "Yeah. The pork-bun was able to see if the animals here would be edible and safe to eat. They should be, or at least that's what they claim."

"It's one of Mokona's 108 secret techniques! Seeing what is safe to eat and what isn't!" Mokona happily exclaimed.

"Yeah, apparently."

"That's wonderful!" Fai cried, his hands going around Mokona to lift him into his arms and hug him. "That's great Mokona! We'll be able to eat thank to you."

"Mokona is always happy to help!" Mokona exclaimed, hugging Fai back.

"When will we go out?" Syaoran asked, his eyes meeting Kurogane's with a silent question of what they were to do about Fai.

"I figured we would head out tomorrow since it's already pretty late in the day, or at least it seems that way, and none of us seem particularly hungry. This way, we'll have plenty of time to hunt tomorrow." Kurogane replied, his own eyes sending back a silent response. "I was also able to collect some fuel for a fire since we don't know how cold the night will get."

"Ah, I guess it is pretty late." Fai hummed as he looked out of the cave, watching as the sky seemed darker than before. "We should probably have someone keep watch, especially since we don't know what we'll be up against tomorrow."

"I'll take first watch, followed by the kid." Kurogane huffed.

Fai frowned. "No, you two will probably be the ones hunting tomorrow and you both need to be at your best."

"And if we start now, then in a few hours after the kid does his part, we'll wake you up so that way we get sleep before we hunt rather than getting no sleep. I'm not stupid, mage."

"Still…" Fai trailed off when he realized that Kurogane wouldn't be backing down and held his hands up in consent. "Alright, alright. I'll let daddy make the decisions around here, but only if he compromises."

"Don't call me that." Kurogane growled before sighing. "What compromise?"

"If you let me keep my spell up for tonight to that way you can hear anything that enters this perimeter, then I'll let you stay up first, Kuro-pipi. And, if you allow me to light the fire for tonight without any complaints about me using my magic. You know very well I can do more than one things at once." Fai proposed. "And don't worry, the sound barrier can stay up even when I'm asleep."

Kurogane was silent for a few seconds, his red eyes scanning over the mage before he nodded his head. "Alright, fine. But that means you go to sleep now."

"Now, now, Kuro-pon, no need to be so forceful." Fai huffed, an empty smile on his face. Only receiving a glare from the samurai, Fai gave a wave of his hand to start the leave on fire before heading to the back of the cave, laying down so his back was to the flames.

It was quiet as both Kurogane and Syaoran waited for Fai to drift off to sleep, only making small talk to keep the mage from catching on. Mokona had eventually grown tired as well and was napping besides Fai which seemed as though that was the cue that finally allowed Fai to drift off as well.

After a few seconds of making sure that the blonde was truly asleep, Kurogane broke the silence. "He's not ok."

Syaoran sighed. "No he's not. I tried to figure out what is was while we were searching for a play to make camp, but Fai-san never gave anything specifically away. I...I think it is something to do with the sound though, or the lack of it anyway. I just wish he would rely on us."

Kurogane gave a sigh and tilted his head back against the cave wall. "You and me both, kid. Sadly, that idiot mage probably still thinks its ok to keep silent about certain things, so while he may tell you to talk to him, he's still not used to doing it in return. Honestly, I'm going to punch him the moment I get the chance, stupid-mage."

"Eh...perhaps you shouldn't punch Fai-san until we know what's wrong." Syaoran offered, trying to placate the older male, already knowing that the hit will be unavoidable.

Kurogane just grunted. "Don't try to save him, kid. Sometimes you need to smack some sense into an idiot like him."

Syaoran just sighed, knowing very well what Kurogane's thought process about this was since he has been on the other side of it many times.

"Look, if he doesn't crack tomorrow, I'll make him crack." Kurogane huffed. "Now go to sleep, you have to keep watch in a bit."

Syaoran nodded his head in agreement as he went to situate himself in his own place in the cave. However, as he drifted off, he heard Kurogane speak one last time.

"Making the kid,worry." A sigh. "Idiot, I thought you wanted to stop doing that."

* * *

The next morning, Kurogane, Syaoran, and Mokona headed out to find food for the four of them to eat. Syaoran had asked if Fai had wanted either he or Mokona to stay with him until they got back, but Fai waved him off. He said he would be fine and that it would be easier to bring back food if they had two hunters and one food tester. Syaoran was nervous about leaving the blonde behind, something in those blue eyes and the way he's been acting sending a bad feeling up his spine, but he also didn't know what to say otherwise.

Kurogane had looked him in the eyes and said. "Take down your spell while we're gone. There's no point for you keeping it up."

Again, something flashed in Fai's eyes as he replied. "Yes, yes, Kuro-sama."

"The minute we turn around, take it down."

"...Of course."

So, even despite his hesitation, the minute the three began to walk away, Fai took down the spell, plunging them all into silence.

They weren't gone for that long, only a few hours at most, but when they returned with prey in their shoulders, they were faced with a sad sight. Fai sat within the cave, seemingly concentrating on breathing as he stared down with wide eyes as a fire before him. Once they came within a certain perimeter of the cave, they could suddenly hear their footsteps and fire within the cave.

The spell was up again.

"Oi!" Kurogane barked. "What did I say about keeping the spell going!?

Fai gave no response, his gaze focused on the flames burning before him.

Syaoran furrowed his eyebrows. "Fai-san?"

"Oi! Mage!"

Fai still did not move.

Mokona jumped off of Syaoran's shoulder and moved to be besides Fai. The small creature lightly touched the blonde as they softly called, "Fai?"

At the touch, Fai jolted out of his state and whipped his head around to look at the three before him. "Ah!" He said, a fragile smile plastering itself onto his face when he seemed coherent enough, but it was too late to fool the other three. "You're back! Did everything go well? I see you have some food."

Mokona frowned when Fai attempted to cover up what just happened. "Fai, are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Hmm?" Fai hummed looking down at the white being. "Nothing's wrong, Mokona, don't worry."

"But Fai-"

"What did I tell you about lying?" Kurogane growled as he placed the prey he had down and charged towards Fai, standing over the blonde with a scowl on his face.

"What do you mean, Kuro-pi?"

Kurogane let out a growl as his hands clenched into fists. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now, are you going to tell us or am I going to have to force it out of you."

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran spoke up, coming closer to the group. "Wait." With this he turned to Fai. "Fai-san, we know something is bothering you. You can tell us what it is."

"Honestly, you really don't need to worry about me, Syaoran-kun." Fai tried, tilting his head as he tried to push away the concern.

Syaoran frowned. "You always push me to tell you if anything is wrong so you can help in any way possible. I want to do the same for you, Fai-san." He lifted his hands so he could place one on Fai's shoulder as he knelt down to be at the same level as the other. "Please?"

Fai was quiet for a few moment, his blue eyes going over each of his companions before he let out a tired sigh. Slumping against the cave wall, Fai ran his hand through his long blonde locks while looking down at the ground. He let out a soft chuckle when he spoke. "I can't tell if me telling will cause you to worry more or less about all of this."

"Probably less, since we'll know what's going on." Kurogane huffed as he also took a seat. Fai blinked at the action and Kurogane raised an eyebrow at the other. "What, I can't sit down? My legs were getting tired."

Fai gave a small, but much more real, smile in response. "I see, of course Kuro-tan."

Kurogane huffed at the nickname before he spoke. "Well? Get on with it before I beat it out of you."

"So violent!" Fai cried, but that only got him more looks for his obvious stalling. Letting out another sigh, Fai turned away from his companions to stare into the fire once more. "Right, right. Ahh…..lets see. I mean, it not really much to tell, much less for you to worry about, trust me."

"With thoughts about yourself?" Kurogane asked, interrupting the babbling. "Yeah, I don't think so. You don't always show the most intelligence when it comes to that, how about you leave the judging to me, the kid, and the porkbun."

"I didn't know you cared so much, Kuro-pu?" Fai cooed looking at him.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "I don't care for idiots who act a lot dumber than they've shown to be." Then he narrowed his eyes. "You're still stalling."

"Ah, sorry, sorry," Fai apologized while raising his hands. "Force of habit."

"Then?"

"Right," He let out another sigh into the magically sounded area. "Ok, ok…. I...I don't like the silence, or at least, this type of silence-this oppressive type of silence-where it weighs down on you...where it seems nothing can pierce it." Fai shivered, his arms coming to wrap around himself as his gaze returned to the fire. "It's too familiar….brings up too many...unpleasant memories."

His voice dropped off at the end as his own mind threatened to pull him into those memories where the silence reigned as an ominous pressure. When he was forced to sit at the bottom of the tower in the ravine and the snow muffled so much around him, would cause the sound of the bodies hitting the ground to fade so quickly yet the sight of everything remained. When his brother was silent and he would be left alone with bodies and silence. Or when he had entered the castle of the man who was his closest figure of a father, only for it to be silent as the people of the court lay in bloody piles across the floor. What used to be a lively home now suffocating in the silence of death. Or afterwords after he placed Ashura into the deep sleep and he was the only person left in Celes, Chi being the exception but even then, he had created her.

He was so lost in these thoughts that he jumped when two hands tightened around his shoulder, pulling him out of those painful memories. His blue eyes turned and met with Syaoran's who was staring determinedly at him yet with a kindness and understanding within those orbs.

"I'm ok, Syaoran-kun." Fai said softly, a sad smile on his lips.

"Fai-san," Syaoran began, his eyes flickering away for a moment before looking back. "You don't need to go into detail, not if you don't want to. But thank you, for telling us that is. I don't how to fix this, but we're here for you, just like when you were there for me. Please don't push us away again, Fai-san."

Fai was quiet as he looked at the young boy before him, so used to this situation being the other way around. Usually, he comforts Syaoran, but here was his boy comforting him. A watery, but happy smile made its way onto his face and he felt tears gather in his eyes.

"Please be happy again Fai!" Mokona cried, hugging the blonde. "Please don't hide!"

Fai let out a wet chuckle. "Ok, alright. I'll behave in the future-ow! Kuro-pu!" Fai whined as one of his hands went up to hold the spot Kurogane had smacked.

"I said I would hit you!" Kurogane growled. "Stupid mage! You deserve more than one hit, honestly, thinking like that. How many times have I told you to stop dwelling on the past?" Kurogane crossed his arms. "Besides, we're obviously right here. Even if you can't hear us, you should know better. Last I checked, you had both of your eyes back."

"I know but you didn't have to hit me so hard Kuro-tan!"

"I don't think I hit you hard enough! And its Kurogane!" With that he moved over to the prey he had placed down.

"Sure, Kuro-sama!"

Kurogane grumbled. "Whatever. Don't come complaining to me if you end up too tired, though."

Syaoran was confused at his second sentence but a quick look at Fai helped it click. It was Kurogane's way of saying it was fine to leave the spell up for however long Fai needed. For all the talk he had of not letting the past get to him, Kurogane also understood what it was like to be traumatized by something and knew it wouldn't go away easily.

Syaoran couldn't help the smile on his lips, especially when Fai replied, "You know it won't tire me out! Silly Kuro-puppy!"

With brighter eyes, Fai turned to Syaoran and, after giving the boy a quick squeeze to the shoulder in thanks as well as a bright and thankful smile, spoke. "Now, what did you two bring home for dinner, hm? I need to know what I can whip up!"

**Author's Note:**

> So that was that! I hope Syaoran was ok. Again, he's strangely difficult to write. Oh well. Also, there is no way Fai was not in anyway traumatized by his past. I refuse to believe that. I mean, clearly he does have some cause that's kinda shown in the manga along with how much he wanted to die, but still.
> 
> Feel free to comment or anything else.
> 
> Until next time! :D


End file.
